Bamidbar - Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben
Counting What Counts
Bamidbar (Numbers 1:1-4:20)
May 31, 2008 / 26 Iyar 5768
Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben, Ph.D.
Kehillat Israel Reconstructionist Congregation
Former President, Board of Rabbis of Southern California
"If I were to truly speak all the words that fill my heart, they would flood the world itself with the simple rapture of love."
I read this poem scribbled on the outer wall of a church the other day. It read like a quiet mystic's revelation of the true essence of the human soul and I longed to feel that joy, experience that rapture, and lay bare my inner being to that simple power of love. At the time I was on my way to visit a family who had just experienced the death of a loved one where I would sit and talk and absorb the stories of her life from their flood of memories with which to fashion a eulogy for the next day's funeral service.
I listened with rapt attention to the remarkable stories of this 94-year-old woman who had lived an exuberant life with joy and zest and fulfillment packed into every single moment. As they told me story after story about her caring for strangers, her ability to walk into a restaurant and by the time she left, know the names and phone numbers of everyone sitting around her (and then follow up and call them all a week later!), I saw the glistening of tears of love within their eyes and thought to myself, "Ahh, this is what that poet meant about the 'words that fill my heart.'"
Later I met with a couple about their upcoming wedding. Although they were born in different countries and originally spoke very different languages, they had met, become best friends and now shared a powerful love that transcended language, culture, religion and background. They spoke their own sacred language to each other - the lyrical, extraordinary language of love. "Ahh, this is what that poet meant about flooding the world with the simple rapture of love." I could see it so plainly written across both their faces.
I wake up in the morning and I gaze at my wife, Didi and I feel love. I spend each day in the company of couples who are planning to wed and I see love. And then I see love again in the parents who bring their children to the synagogue to study so that they can discover their own unique Jewish identity.
After I read that poem on the wall, I began to realize that everything I see in the natural world and every relationship that I know and every moment of creation and poignancy is an opportunity to count a million moments of encountering love, "enough to flood the entire world."
This week's portion in the Torah starts the fourth book, called "Numbers" in English and Bamidbar (In the desert) in Hebrew. In its opening words, God speaks to Moses in the wilderness of Sinai and commands him to take a count of all the people in the whole Israelite community. What struck me about this opening passage is that it specifically tells us that God spoke to Moses "in the wilderness" (hence the name of the book - Bamidbar). I understood the lesson to be that each of us lives in our own wilderness, our own desert searching for an oasis of joy and meaning and love. It is there in our wildernesses that we too can find God as Moses did. The price we pay for this experience of spiritual discovery is the willingness to love and be love, and the inevitable consequence of loss and grief.
As I engaged in my own special "census" activity this week - counting the opportunities, experiences, expressions, behaviors that demonstrated the power and passion and commitment that love evokes from the human soul, I discovered that indeed the poet must have already spoken the words that fill his or her heart, for if we are open to the miracle of it, the world is already flooded with the simple rapture of love. It's all around us every day. And all we need do is open our eyes to feel it.
SHABBAT SHALOM!
Check out Rabbi Reuben's newest book, There's an Easter Egg on Your Seder Plate: Surviving Your Child's Interfaith Marriage