Haye Sarah 5769-Mark S. Diamond

A Living Legacy

November 22, 2008 / 24 Heshvan 5769

Rabbi Mark S. Diamond
Executive Vice President
The Board of Rabbis of Southern California

Torah Portion: Haye Sarah ("Sarah's lifetime..."), Genesis 23:1-25:18
Haftarah Portion: I Kings 1:1-31

The Torah portion that discusses the death of Sarah is called in Hebrew Haye Sarah, "the life of Sarah." Abraham's death and his son Ishmael's death are also mentioned in this one section of the Bible. The deaths of the first patriarch, the first matriarch, and the patriarch's son are all found in our Torah portion.

Yet it bears the title "life," not "death." Commenting on this paradox, Rav Amiel writes: "One should note that davka the Torah portions that speak of the death of righteous individuals are named using some form of the word "life", e.g. "The Life of Sarah," "Jacob lived." This reminds us of the words of our ancient sages, "The righteous are called living even after their death" (Talmud Berakhot 18a).

Rav Amiel's comment underscores how, even after death, the righteous deeds we perform live on in the hearts and minds of those whose lives we touch. Each fall when we read Haye Sarah, I think of a unique mitzvah that translates this ideal into reality. Organ donation is a difficult, emotional topic that does not lend itself to easy discourse in a society that discourages discussion of issues surrounding death and dying. Nonetheless, the Jewish tradition bids us to confront our mortality in an open, honest manner. It behooves us to share our beliefs on end of life issues, including organ donation, with family and friends.

In my twenty-seven years as a rabbi, I hear one myth repeated over and over again: "Jews don't believe in donating organs." While this may have been factually correct decades ago, it is not true today. Rabbinical and communal leaders of the major Jewish movements concur that donating organs is a great mitzvah. Likewise, our interfaith colleagues join us in encouraging people of diverse faiths, cultures and ethnicities to view organ and tissue donation as the gift of life. Synagogues, churches and other congregations are educating their faith communities about the special blessing of organ donation in Give Thanks, Give Life Celebrations during the months of November and December.

I have copied below an article I wrote in 2005 entitled "A Love Story." The true story of my friends Valerie and Glenn touches me in a very personal and profound way, and reminds us that organ donation may well be the highest form of piku'ah nefesh (saving life). Feel free to share this message with others, and be sure to consult your own rabbi and the teshuvot (responsa) and resolutions on organ donation published by the Conservative, Orthodox, Reconstructionist and Reform movements (all available on the web sites of their respective rabbinical and synagogue associations). 

I have had the privilege of visiting the Los Angeles headquarters of OneLegacy, the southern California transplant donor network. The most enduring image of my tour was a large photograph on the walls of the reception area. It shows a local transplant specialist beaming with pride as he stands behind some three dozen infants playing in the foreground. All of these children are alive today thanks to a transplanted liver, heart or kidney. All of these children were given the gift of life by the grieving family of a donor.

Even in death, the righteous are calling living. Please learn more about the gift of life by visiting www.onelegacy.org

 

A Love Story
by Rabbi Mark S. Diamond

This is the story of my friend Valerie, whom I first met last year. Valerie sent me an email introducing her as a Jew-by-Choice who worked as a flight attendant. She wondered if I was the same Rabbi Mark her fiance Glenn knew from his synagogue's high school youth group. Glenn and I had lost touch with one another when his family moved to California. Val asked, was I the same individual, and, if so, would I officiate at their wedding?

Thanks to Valerie, two best friends were reunited after more than three decades apart. More importantly, Glenn and Val had found each other. Their love was intoxicating, with family and friends commenting how happy each was to have found his/her soul mate.

On a sunny October afternoon, I married Glenn and Valerie in a traditional Jewish wedding on a yacht in Marina del Rey. We joined with their children, parents, relatives and friends for a joyous ceremony on the deck replete with a wind-blown huppah (wedding canopy). Val's artistic touches were evident in the wedding program she designed, the ketubah (Jewish marriage document) she selected, and the extra touches that made the day special. Adding to the festivities were other yachts in the harbor whose captains blew their horns in celebration with shouts of mazal tov from their own passengers.

Two months after that glorious day, Glenn called to tell me that his beloved Valerie had suffered a brain aneurism and was in critical condition in an area hospital. I rushed to the ICU unit, only to find our beautiful, 47 year-old Valerie near death. I sat with Glenn, Val's daughters, and other family members as a neurologist informed them that Valerie was brain dead and being kept "alive" by machines.

Amidst the overwhelming shock and grief, the medical staff gently raised a sensitive but timely subject: Would the family consider donating Valerie's organs to others? Their initial reply was no, since Valerie had thought that Jewish law prohibited organ donation. They too believed that donating organs was a sin. Fighting back tears, I counseled family members that organ donation is not contrary to Jewish law. In fact, rabbinical authorities from all Jewish movements agree that organ donation is a tremendous mitzvah (commandment) and the highest form of piku'ah nefesh (saving life). 

An emotional discussion followed. What would Valerie want her loved ones to do had she known that organ donation is permissible according to Jewish law? In the end, Valerie's family consented to donating her organs. I sat with my friend Glenn as a nurse from OneLegacy (the Southern California transplant donor network) completed the paperwork to initiate this awesome mitzvah. I witnessed the OneLegacy team spend day and night painstakingly matching Valerie's organs with compatible donors, as her family and I made plans for her funeral.

On a sunny December afternoon, we laid Valerie to rest in a local cemetery. We remembered her as a fun-loving, vivacious young woman. Val made friends easily and instantly, from passengers on her flights to total strangers in stores and restaurants. She lived each moment to the fullest and radiated warmth and joy to those around her. 

In life, Valerie gave 100% to whomever she was with and whatever she was doing. In death, Valerie gave the ultimate gift. One of her kidneys is now in the body of a 76 year-old man who had been on dialysis for six years. He is married and the father of three children. His kidney function is now good and he is off of dialysis.

Valerie's other kidney went to a fifty year-old man. He is single, active, and used to ride his bicycle 40-50 miles a week. Prior to the transplant, he had been on dialysis. Valerie's kidney was a "zero mismatch," meaning that it was a perfect match for this recipient. He told the transplant team that he knows he "won the lotto" by receiving such a perfectly matched kidney. He is doing well and his prognosis is quite good.

These are just two of the fortunate recipients of Valerie's donated organs. The quality of their lives has improved dramatically since their transplants. In some cases, they are alive because of their transplants.

I will never understand why my friend Valerie was taken from us in the very prime of her life. When I sit and cry with her family, I cannot know their pain and anguish nor can I comprehend their tragic loss. I do know that they find a small measure of comfort in the knowledge that Valerie gave the gift of life to others. Amidst the darkness, they have found a ray of light and hope for the future.

This article first appeared in the Jan. 20, 2006 edition of the Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles.